Prayer · Coming back to faith
How to get closer to God (or come back after drifting away)
You get closer to God the same way you get closer to anyone: you start talking to Him honestly, you listen, and you keep showing up. In practice that means one honest prayer today, a few verses of Scripture each day, and at least one person who prays with you. You do not need to feel close first. The Bible's promise runs the other way: "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you" (James 4:8).
This guide is for two kinds of people. Some have never prayed much and want to begin. Others once had a living faith, drifted for months or years, and now feel awkward about coming back. The first steps below work for either. Catholic and Orthodox readers may also want to return through their parish, confession and the sacraments; Protestant readers may want to talk with a pastor.
Why do I feel distant from God?
People who write about this on forums and in church groups usually describe one of four situations:
- Life got loud. Work, children, a move or an illness pushed prayer out of the day. Nothing broke; the habit simply stopped.
- Something hurt. A death, a divorce, an unanswered prayer or a painful church experience left anger or confusion that never got said out loud.
- Guilt. You did something you are ashamed of and it feels wrong to "show up" before God now.
- Feelings faded. Faith used to feel warm and now it feels flat, so you assume something is wrong.
Naming which one is yours matters, because the first step is different. If life got loud, you need a small routine. If something hurt, you need an honest conversation with God about it, including the anger. If it is guilt, you need to hear what the Bible actually says about returning. If feelings faded, you need to know that feelings are not the measure of nearness. The Psalms are full of people who felt abandoned and kept praying anyway.
What does the Bible say about coming back to God?
The clearest answer is a story Jesus told, the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. A younger son takes his inheritance, wastes it, and ends up feeding pigs. He rehearses a speech of apology on the way home. Here is what happens before he gets to finish it:
"But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion, and ran, fell on his neck, and kissed him." (Luke 15:20)
The father does not wait for the son to arrive, earn his place or prove he has changed. He runs. The son starts his prepared speech and the father talks over it, calling for a robe, a ring and a feast (Luke 15:22–24). Jesus told this story to people who thought God keeps a ledger.
The prophets say the same thing in plainer words. "Let him return to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, to our God, for he will freely pardon" (Isaiah 55:7). And for guilt in particular: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
So the question "Can I come back after what I did?" has a short biblical answer: yes, and you are expected.
How do I start praying if I don't know what to say?
Start with the truth, in your own words, out loud or written down. You do not need perfect words. Jesus warned against prayer done for show and told His followers: "when you pray, enter into your inner room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret" (Matthew 6:6). Written and traditional prayers help too, and the next section suggests one.
If you are stuck, use this three-line shape for your first prayer. It works whether you are beginning or returning:
- Where I am: "God, I have been far from you. I am not sure what I believe right now."
- What I need: "I need help with my marriage / my fear / this decision / my grief."
- What I'll do: "I will read a little of your word tomorrow. Please meet me there."
That is a complete prayer. Paul admits that even mature believers often don't know how to pray, and says the Holy Spirit "makes intercession for us with groanings which can't be uttered" (Romans 8:26). Clumsy words are not a barrier.
Many people find it easier to pray with someone else's words at first. Psalm 51 was written as a prayer of return: "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me... Restore to me the joy of your salvation" (Psalm 51:10, 12). You can pray those lines as your own.
A 7-day plan to get closer to God
A plan helps because it removes the daily decision about what to do. Each day below takes 5 to 10 minutes. If you miss a day, continue with the next one; there is nothing to reset.
| Day | Read | Do |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Luke 15:11–24 | Write one sentence: where are you on the road home? |
| 2 | Psalm 51:1–12 | Pray verse 10 slowly, three times, as your own words. |
| 3 | Matthew 11:28–30 | Name one burden you are carrying and hand it over in prayer. |
| 4 | Lamentations 3:22–24 | In the morning, thank God for one specific thing before checking your phone. |
| 5 | Matthew 6:5–13 | Pray the Lord's Prayer one line at a time, adding your own sentence after each. |
| 6 | James 5:13–16 | Ask one person how you can pray for them, and do it. |
| 7 | Psalm 145:13–21 | Look back over the week. What changed, even slightly? |
The Gospel of Mark is a good next step after this week. It is the shortest Gospel, and its 16 chapters fit into two weeks of reading a chapter a day.
Why you shouldn't try to do this alone
Isolation makes returning harder. If you drifted after losing touch with the people you prayed with, finding one of them again is a natural first step. Scripture is blunt about it: "Two are better than one... if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls" (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10).
The person does not have to be a pastor. A spouse, a parent, an old friend from church or a sibling in another city will do. Tell them, "I'm trying to pray again. Can we pray for each other once a week?" Then share one specific request each and check back in a week.
Distance does not have to stop this. We built Avela for exactly this situation: you can create a private Prayer Circle, share a request with the people you love, and see when someone has prayed for you, wherever they live. A phone call or a group chat works too. What matters is that someone knows and someone asks.
What if I pray and still feel nothing?
This is common, and it is not a sign that you are doing it wrong. Many of the Psalms begin in exactly this place ("How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?" Psalm 13:1) and the writers kept praying. Dryness in prayer does not, by itself, mean that you are failing or that God is far away.
Three things help in a dry season. Keep the routine small enough that you can keep it on a bad day. Pray Scripture when your own words run out. And notice changes in what you do, not just in what you feel: are you a little more patient, a little quicker to forgive, a little less anxious at night? Those are signs of nearness too.
If the distance you feel comes with persistent hopelessness, loss of sleep or appetite, please talk to a doctor or counselor as well as to God. If you are thinking about suicide or do not feel safe, call, text or chat 988 in the United States, free and at any hour. If there is immediate danger, call 911. Prayer can go alongside professional help; it should not replace it.
Can you drift away and still be saved?
Christian traditions teach differently about salvation and about falling away, and a priest or pastor from your own tradition can walk you through it. The parable itself shows a father who was watching the road and ran to meet his son. God's promise through Jeremiah points the same way: "You shall seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13).
A short prayer to come back to God
Father, I have been far away, and I am not sure how to start again. Thank you that you see me while I am still far off. Forgive me for what I have done and for what I have left undone. Create in me a clean heart. Help me to read your word tomorrow, and give me one person to walk with. In Jesus' name, amen.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to feel close to God again?
There is no fixed timeline. Keep the next step small and repeatable, and look for quiet changes such as more patience or a calmer evening.
Do I have to go back to church first?
You can pray today, wherever you are. For Catholic and Orthodox Christians, returning usually includes the parish and confession, and any Christian is helped by a local church. Go when you are ready, and ask a priest or pastor for help with the next step.
What is the best time of day to pray?
The time you will actually keep. Many people choose the first minutes of the morning, before the phone. Others pray on a commute or before sleep. Tie prayer to something you already do every day.
Keep reading: How to pray for your husband (and start praying together) · What the Bible says about family that hurts you
Sources: Scripture from the World English Bible (public domain). 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.